200 days, 17 flights, 14 countries, 13 US states, 11 islands, 3 cameras (2 broken, one lost), 3 pairs of sunglasses, 4 AK-47 shots, 3 massages (one blind, one fish), 2 elephant rides, a floating bar, 2 thumb wars (one win, one loss), a jellyfish sting, 26 hours spent on a bus in Argentina, 7 days spent with a dodgy stomach, 3 amazing steaks, not enough Boost juices, 5 karaoke songs sung horrendously, 5 bowls of salsa, 24 hour Elvis videos, 47 degree heat, a farting penguin, 2 travelling companions left behind, numerous games of Uno, a hospital visit, Route 36, Route 66, 35 passport stamps, 5 dollar footlongs, Paul’s 14 year old love interest, 3 overnight trains, an angry biker, 43km Inca trail, 5 jumping crocodiles, 2 ruined pairs of shoes, one night in Denham, a peeping tom, 6 marching ducks, 4 dunkin donuts, 2 prison visits, 16 nights in Bunnies, 34 days in Britney (RIP Justin), a wrestling midget, 3 stubbed toes, 33 new Facebook friends, a bit of mud wrestling, some terribly long hair, a bit of skinny dipping, loads of bloody waterfalls, a shed load of beer…

1 trip of a lifetime.

Thanks for reading….see you next time! 

Much love

ROG

See you in the pub!

Me Ju starts as she means to go on!

Samui’s neighbouring island Koh Tao was probably the highlight of the east coast where we went kayaking, saw a fire show and went on a snorkelling trip and managed to see another shark!

Paradise found?

We also experienced a full moon party which I am unfortunately still feeling the effects of. After covering ourselves in neon paint the drinks started flowing and before I knew it I was dancing on a table on the beach. Next thing I know I am falling off the table only for it to land smack on my toe. So the rest of the night was spent dancing on one leg…I think people thought I was trying to start a mass Hokey Kokey.

Preparing for full moon

30 second before the table falls

So a trip to hospital was required the following day but luckily the x-ray showed it wasn’t broken. However ten days later it is still hurting a bloody lot so a return trip may be required! I didn’t think I could feel any worse that day until I went back to our beach hut to rest my foot in the hammock only for the whole thing to snap and send me crashing to the floor putting my back out. Full moon has a lot to answer for.

The aftermath of Toe-gate

We decided to leave the east coast behind for fear of any other injuries and headed across to Phuket where thanks to my friend Siri we were treated to 5 star luxury at the Indigo Pearl hotel (sorry about the plug but it’s literally the best hotel in the world…go there!!). We got absolutely drenched by water pistols, buckets, hoses etc during the Songkram New Year festivities but decided to join in the fun by investing in a super soaker…yeah baby!

Asta la vista baby

Always look out for the young ones

We took a speedboat over to Phi Phi island home to “The Beach” and the most tourists I’ve ever seen in my life (not quite the tranquil paradise you’d expect!). It was stunning however and we spent more time snorkelling and swimming in the turquoise waters.

 

Jack, come back to me Jack....oh right, wrong film

We eventually left the beaches behind and headed back to Bangkok which was in a state of emergency. But we opted against the helmets and bullet proof vests (we’re from Wenvoe don’t you know!) and instead visited floating markets and had an elephant ride. We also visited the Grand Palace and in stifling 35+ degree heat the prospect of having to cover up out of respect was not particularly appealing. Instead of jeans I opted to wear my pyjamas….mmm maybe not the most respect I could have given.

PJs in the Palace

Unfortunately reader (god it’s started to sound a bit Jane Eyre) this is the penultimate blog post of my trip as I sit in a Bangkok internet cafe waiting to get a taxi to the airport for my flight HOME! If this post has not made much sense it is because I have a stinking hangover from consuming one too many of the infamous samsong buckets on my last night…I did however track down the thumb war girl and beat her…RESULT!

But now all I want is a good night’s sleep in my own bed….and maybe a roast dinner with all the trimmings! Too much to ask?

ROG

The whirlwind visit didn’t start well with me having to be escorted through customs because I didn’t have any local money to pay for the visa I didn’t realise I had to buy. “What do you mean you don’t take card?” doesn’t particularly go down well in many third world countries! Then the ATM in the arrivals hall didn’t work so it was all going very well…. but luckily the exchange place was open so I was saved at the last minute and re-escorted back through immigration. What a tourist!

Vientiane is the most laid back capital city I’ve ever been to which was a welcome relief after the madness of Vietnam. The day or so I spent there mainly consisted of eating, watching the sunset over the Mekong river, eating, visiting temples and then eating more. So a perfect day all in all.

You can't get tired of sunsets...can you??

The worldwide obesity epidemic hits Laos

 It was then onto the tubing capital of the world, Vang Vieng. For those of you who are not familiar with this place it is a must stop destination on the Indochina backpacker trail to basically get drunk, float down a river and try not to drown by either not realising you are under water or getting hit by someone launching themselves off one of the river swings (apparently there are between 3 to 6 drownings a year – this place would be hit hard by Health and Safety Standards back home). But luckily I survive to tell the tale and a great day was had, meeting lots of people, drinking lots of the infamous Beerlao (apparently it’s regarded as one of the world’s best beers) and partaking in the odd spot of mud wrestling with some Swedish girls…as you do.

I was winning at this stage...honestly

Vang Vieng is also known for its Friends phenomenon. Every restaurant in town has old episodes of Friends playing back to back on huge TVs…although this seems to have now been extended to include The Simpsons and Family Guy. So I guess you are now building up an image of Vang Vieng as not the most cultural of destinations. But a lot of fun was had and I also went on a rock climbing day which was also cool – apart from one over vertical bit where I literally froze and started shouting expletives at everyone on the ground…but we won’t mention too much about that.

My final port of call in Laos was Luang Prabang via a 7 hour ‘VIP’ bus service through the mountains. There was nothing VIP about it and despite the incredible views I’ve probably never felt so sick on a bus in my entire life…although having a hangover from tubing the day before probably didn’t help matters too much either. But the trip was definitely worth it with Luang Prabang being a definite highlight of my South East Asia adventures (even despite its 11:30pm curfew where everyone has to be back in their hotels by midnight or else!).

Here me and my new Norwegian travelling companion Bard hired bikes to visit the cultural sites before going on an elephant ride through the Mekong river. Our elephant Mai San was a bit of a moody old girl not wanting to go in the direction our mahout (elephant guide) was telling it to – and all this was going on when I was sat on its neck metres from the water. But luckily she kept her cool and we arrived safely back to the village. We thanked Mai San by feeding her bananas only to be told by another girl on the trip that we’d actually fed the wrong elephant. Oh well…

Unfortunately you’ll notice that the number of photos has waned as this blog post has moved on and that’s because I forgot to mention that there was actually a casualty during my tubing experience: my camera. So that’s two broken and one lost in the 6 months I’ve been away.  I think it’s almost time to come home…

ROG

Courtesy of Karin's photos...me, Karin and Bard are happy to survive the tubing!

From the beaches of Nha Trang it was on to find some culture again in Hoiu An via another overnight train. This one had an additonal element of surprise in the form of a 7th carriage companion…Mr Mouse. Needless to say the girls weren’t very happy but I made sure to hide my screams by forcing my head into my pillow. I needed to keep my Playboy apprentice reputation in tact.  

Hoi An is a UNESCO World Heritage site, famous for its architecture as well as its 650 tailors (13 girls. shopping. cheap clothes. mental) I did actually have two suits made but whether I’ll get a job to wear them for when I get back is questionable. We also took part in a cookery course making spring rolls, fish in banana leaf and pork kebabs. I was largely unimpressed however with our teacher who thought I was the father of Charlotte, one of the girls on the tour. She is 22. I am 27. (Note to self: increase use of moisturiser). That night I hit the home brew and at 16p a glass I was soon the life and soul of the party. I showed them who was daddy alright.

Hoi An or the set from Pirates of the Caribbean?

My "daughter" Charlotte enjoying her cookery class

From Hoi An we got a bus to Hue where we toured the crumbling citadel and visited the tomb of the old emperor. It was here I stubbed my toe (cue ‘you need some better flip flops etc’ from the girls in the group) and soon found myself surrounded by 6 or 7 Singaporean women all delving into their handbags to find a plaster. The Playboy reputation was waning fast.

It all got a bit messy on the road to Hue

Charlotte pulls in Hue

It was then time for our last overnight train to Hanoi and boy did we party like it was 1999. There was even a pack of Strawberry Oreos at one point. Hanoi started off in a bit of a haze having arrived at 4.30am and then proceeding to queue up to see the body of Hoi Chi Minh in a mausoleum. Some people claim the body is little more than a wax work (it is even flown to Russia for a few months of the year for “touch-ups”) and I hate to offend any Vietnamese people who are reading this post but yes it did appear to better belong in Madame Tussauds…what was with the orange lighting as well? The bizarrities of Hanoi continued with a trip to a water puppet show.

No wonder there were mice about

The finale of the tour was a trip to Halong Bay to see thousands of islands rise up through the waters. The weather let us down a bit but we didn’t let this dampen our spirits and enjoyed some caving, kayaking, some amazing seafood and then the odd spot of karaoke. OK maybe odd spot is not the right word…probably a 2 hour marathon of glass breaking screeching is the better word to describe it. You’ll be pleased to know I absolutely murdered ‘Sex Bomb’ in honour of Tom Jones..the girls absolutely loved it although I’m not sure why they were laughing so much.

Me and my favourite teal T-shirt enjoying Halong bay

As Bernard Matthews would say..."Bootiful"

Our last night out on tour was spent back in Hanoi where we feasted like kings and also had our own awards ceremony. I was awarded the “Durex Peeping Tom” award. Not because I had been stalking anyone on the tour but because I had ACCIDENTALLY had an underwear malfunction on one of the overnight trains much to the delight of the girls in the carriage of course. Brian on the otherhand (remember he is a 50 year old male from the North of England and the only other guy on tour) was awarded “Sexiest Male” so I really think I may have played it all wrong with the girls on tour. My Playboy apprentice image was in tatters.

(Note to self: buy new pants, dye hair grey and dress up in a Newcastle football kit).

ROG

Vietnam: where porn comes free in every bathroom

We spent a couple of days in Phnom Penh (Cambodian’s capital) where we ate some excellent food at restaurants all set up for good causes, treated myself to another massage (foot this time) but by a blind masseuse, and visited the Royal Palace. Unfortunately though I bottled out of trying the tarantulas for sale by the riverside.

Roaring fun at the Royal Palace

Anyone for spider?

And so it was into Vietnam with a much more hassle-free border crossing. First stop was Ho Chi Minh City (formerly Saigon) where we unfortunately had to say goodbye to two of our tour companions Hayley and Brendon from New Zealand. Needless to say we gave them a good send off in the local watering holes!

Hayley and Brendon say au revoir!

We travelled to the Mekong Delta where we had a homestay on the island and were treated to some wonderfully presented food, got to ride bikes(unfortunately one of our group Jen got a bit excited and ended up in the river!) and also dress up in some traditional hats whilst drinking from coconuts and being punted down the river on longboats (we’re such tourists!). We also visited a brick factory and coffin maker. It seems the Cambodian randomness has also seeped over the border!

Elephant ear fish - strange name, great taste!

Charlotte and I dress to impress!

Back in Ho Chi Minh City we learnt about the Vietnam War with a visit to the War Museum as well as to the Cu Chi tunnels, where hundreds of Vietnamese people lived underground and fought the American soldiers. The tunnels had a surreal Disney theme park feel about them especially with a shooting range set up on site so that as you walked through the forest you felt you were in some strange reconstruction as the guns went off.

I'm going deeper undergound...

Me and the AK-47...it had to be done!

From Saigon we headed to the beach resort of Nha Trang on our first overnight sleeper train. The look on our faces when we first saw how small each of our cabins were was priceless but we soon got comfortable (well as comfortable as you can be with 6 people squashed into a cardboard box!) and devoured the snacks we’d bought!

Sharing a cabin with five girls...the vodka came in handy!

Nha Trang was pure indulgence. A little bit of the Costa Del Sol tucked away on the west coast of Vietnam but without all the British breakfasts and chavs (although actually a couple of fry ups were eaten during our stay there!). We spent our first day on a boat trip with the ‘Funky Monkey’ a Vietnamese guy who has basically set up a booze cruise and called it a ‘sightseeing boat trip’. It was absolutely hilarious with a floating free bar, buffet lunch, dancing on the decks and karaoke all for a mere 4 pounds!

Not sure if a free cocktail bar in the middle of the sea is actually such a good idea...oh well, mine's a large one!

We spent the following day nursing a hangover or two and decided to chill out and visit the local mudbaths. In scenes reminiscent of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory we submerged ourselves in the runny mud before making use of the thermal hot pools and waterfalls to rinse off.  Who knows what else Vietnam will have in store…

Augustus Gloop in the making!

ROG

Emma Jane…Rose Tyler eat your heart out

The tour began with a night out in Bangkok which saw me lose hopelessly to a 7 year old girl at Thumb War, an elephant randomly walking down the road as well as a few too many shishas and the infamous Bangkok ‘buckets’ (Thai whiskey, red bull and coke all served in a kid’s sand castle bucket). Needless to say the tour started with a few sore heads.

She clearly practises a lot more than I do

But hangovers aside it was onto the Cambodian border. We spent several hours here unfortunately and at one point even thought they may not actually let us in. But in we got and headed to our first point of call, the city of Siam Reap, home to the “world famous” (there’s those words we have heard so many times on this tour) Angkhor Wat temple complex.

In what can only be described as a scene from Indiana Jones, we walked by torchlight through the stone passages of the temples to get to the centre in time for sunrise…and boy did it not disappoint, making up for the “cloud-gate’ debacle at Macchu Picchu.

The temple complex was mind blowing covering a vast area with giant faces and elephants carved into the rocks and some parts overrun by giant trees. This was where they actually filmed some Tomb Raider scenes but unfortunately no Angelina Jolie around the day we were there.

Mmm not sure this is entirely appropriate

Back in town we were treated to the delicacies of ‘Pub street’ where I enthusiastically tried snake (bit on the chewy side!) and embarrassingly had a photograph with the local apsara dancers before graffiti-ing my hometown on the wall of a pub!

Why make the name any more complicated!

Rodney you plonker

Proud to be Wenvoe

The action didn’t stop there though and in Siam Reap I experienced my first ever full body massage. It was only after discussing the experience after that  I realised I was the only one in the group whose masseuse had approached the buttock region!

We also had a boat trip to a floating island meeting a young girl and her python friend before ending our stay in Siam Rep with a visit to Dr Fish where we had our feet nibbled by 1500 fish from Turkey. Random times.

Something a bit fishy going on here

Only in Cambodia

ROG

An interesting experience

But the day after I arrived I left for a 2 day tour of Kakadu National Park with tour company “Kakadu dreams”. It was also the “wet” season so I’ll leave you to decipher the description we came up with of how much fun we had.

The Kakadu crew...innit bra.

Our first port of call was the Adelaide River for a Jumping Crocodile cruise. I was literally almost peeing my pants with excitement. Some of you may be aware that it has always been a dream of mine to see crocodiles in the wild and when I tried to see them 5 years ago on the Daintree river in Queensland there were none of them sodding there. But this time didn’t disappoint as we boarded our boat and watched as one after the other the beastly creatures approached us.

Nice of them to let you know

The first one was pretty impressive at just over 3m but then our boat captain (hilarious Mick Dundee-esque Aussie who kept repeating classic lines such as ‘they’re out there, no one knows where’ and ‘you face more danger when you drive your car every day’) spotted a 5m one approaching. Although not as athletic as the first this one looked like he had a history and weirdly he had a black body and white head. Mick informed us his name was ‘Michael Jackson’.

MJ..he's bad, he's bad and he knows it

1,2,3...Jump!

As well as seeing the crocs jump we also had chance to be photographed with a python and feed a dozen or so hawks from the boat as they swooped down almost on our heads . So basically a wildlife enthusiasts wet dream.

The laughing hid the fear...kind of.

So we headed into Kakadu National Park and its beauty was indescribable. Being the wet season as well we were treated to some terrific storms which meant lots of wading through streams and the opportunity to see gushing waterfalls. We also did some rock scrambling, climbing through crevices (felt very Indiana Jones at one point), swimming in crystal clear pools as well as viewing some ancient aboriginal rock drawings.

Oh I do love a good waterfall

Duh Duh Duh Duhhh, Duh Duh Duhh...mmm it's pretty difficult writing what the Indiana Jones theme sounds like

Our accommodation was in a permanent bush camp where we were treated to a meal of kangaroo (Poor skippy) washed down with a few beers and a play (particularly unsuccessful for me and my small mouth) of the didgeridoo. This was after we had tried some bushtucker grub such as bush passionfruit and ants bottoms which weirdly tasted just like a lime.

Jure was a bit more sucessful than I was

The finale of our tour was unexpected when firstly one of our guides Dan stopped the truck and proceeded to clamber up a tree to catch a frilled neck lizard. We then stopped at a roadhouse where we would get to see the infamous waterbuffalo “Charlie” from the Crocodile Dundee films. Yet another pants drenching moment.

Mmm interesting hair Rich

From Darwin I left Oz (after one last Boost Juice and a packet of Red Rock Deli sweet chilli and sour cream crisps…heaven!) and headed to Bangkok via one night in Singapore. The hotel in Singapore was probably the best I’ve ever stayed in with an amazing infinity pool on the roof as well as some interesting design ideas such as a window in the bathroom so you could watch the TV whilst in the bath!! Needless to say I didn’t see much more of Singapore other than the hotel’s interior!

And then onto Bangkok via a flight where I finally got to watch the latest James Bond movie – you wouldn’t believe how much trouble we’ve had trying to see it over the last 5 months! Weirdly after my arrival in Bangkok I got a taxi to the centre and the first song on the radio to play was ’2 become 1′ by the Spice Girls. I’m not sure whether this was a coincidence or whether it just warns me not to expect much from the Thai music scene. But you’ll be pleased to know that my loneliness will not last much longer as I now await a new travelling companion for my Asian adventure. More details in the next episode…

P.S. For those of you interested in thongs(!), in Australia the word thong is used to describe a flip flop not a G-string. In Oz G-strings are instead known as ‘G-bangers’ and in Canada known as a ‘Whales tails’. It’s amazing what you learn some days.

Probably needs a good wash

 ROG

Cornbeef hash: food of the Gods?

Coral Bay was the next major stop. The picturesque white sand and turquoise waters were only marred slightly by the incredible number of flies on the beach… oh, and the few bristolians that we managed to find ourselves sat next to. Out came those sexy fly nets again and Rich got another chance to dig out his snorkel gear and venture out in to the open waters. It was also that rainy night in Coral Bay that we met John and Jess, an American couple who we were to see on a number of occasions on our way up the coast. More on them later!

Exmouth brought with it one of the best and worst campsites of the trip up the coast. Described as “the most perfectly located campsite on the west coast of Australia”, by the Lonely Planet, the Lighthouse Caravan Park didn’t quite live up to its reputation.  Not only was it miles from anywhere (even the sea?!), and full of may flies, but the lighthouse was by far the worst one either of us has ever seen. Saying that the rainy weather allowed for us to spend some quality time getting to know Bunny. I believe we sat in her for about five hours that day.

Ningaloo Lighthouse:In need of a paint job and could do with being abiout three times the size

40 degrees centigrade and raining, but still smiling

Beyond that night, Exmouth was pretty incredible. We snorkeled at the most amazing places in Ningaloo National Park, swimming with reef sharks around the Oyster Stacks and letting the tide take us along the beach with turtles at Turquoise Bay. Oyster stacks was also the resting place for another pair of Haviana flip flops… don’t ask.

The following few nights we called Exmouth Holiday Park home. It was here that we cooked many a BBQ, played countless games of Head Plop TM, star gazed with new friends whilst sharing another box of terrible wine, and almost had to take an executive decision to give up hopes of getting to Broome and head back to Perth. At one point about 600km of roads that we planned to drive on were closed due to flooding, but, we stuck to our guns and held out, only for the roads to clear a couple of days later. Exmouth also saw me win the first game of mini golf I’ve played this whole trip. Phew…

Sir Patrick Moore was quaking in his boots

The remainder of the drive up the coast was a little faster paced, with us needing to make up time following the long but relaxing stay in Exmouth. Over those days we relaxed in Honeymoon Cove (Karratha), were adopted by surrogate parents Barry and Brenda (a 60 year-old couple from Halifax), slept through many a thunderstorm, diced with death on 80-Mile Beach (Rich got stung by a jelly fish, only for us to also find out that the beach was also home to Great White Sharks later that evening), had pancakes for every meal on Pancake day, and went to Macdonalds far too many times. Pancake day actually deserves a little more detail. Not only did we have a superb pancake breakfast, cooked on the BBQ, but in the evening Rich managed to cook a pasta dish, sausages and prepare pancakes with one pan on a single hob. Ainsley Harriett, eat your heart out!

Pancake anyone?!

And last but not least Broome. Apparently bombed to the point of abandonment in World War Two, it was a pretty cool place to relax and get ourselves together before the sad day came to say our goodbyes, first to Bunny and then to each other, and go our separate ways. Whilst there we went to Sun Pictures, the oldest open air cinema in the world, sampled some of the best beer we’ve had on the trip at the local brewery and went out to a pub/club which would have looked more at home in Playa De Las Ingles, Tenerife, than it did in sleepy Broome, population 11,000.

And that was that. We spent our last morning together in Macdonalds, waiting for the breakfast to lunch switch (10.30am for those not in the know) and predicting how the staff went about changing the menu signs above the tills. All I can say is that we were both in a very strange place, and finding it a little hard to come to terms with the goodbye that was to follow.

I am now back in Sydney, staying with Pauly T and currently trying to work out where I’ll be in two months. For the record, Pauly T is alive and well, living in a very pleasant flat just outside the city – photos will follow! You never know, a guest appearance on the blog could follow, watch this space!

Great days

So its goodbye from me, for the time being and good luck to Rich ahead of his travels in South East Asia. Speak to you all soon,

RB

The thought of seeing Pauly T again was too much...

Mmm...an interesting shaped pinnacle

why don't you fly awwayy..

Over the next few days we spent time on the beach, saw the Satellite dish that transmitted Neil Armstrong’s first words from space, got bullied out of a swimming pool by two gigantic wasps, had a tour of a Fisherman’s Co-operative lobster factory (donning some fabulous hair nets), dodged emus and kangaroos on the road and above all tried to keep cool in the increasing heat.

Russ auditions as the new Hilda Ogden

Anyone see Rod Hull? Oh no...

Unfortunately ‘Bunnies’ wasn’t particularly enjoying the heat (you can’t really blame her without any air-conditioning) and decided to have a moody fit by making some weird shuddering noises from her front right wheel. We managed to drive her (albeit very slowly) to a nearby campsite but literally could not see what the problem was.  It was only after we decided not to worry about the problem until the following morning that we realised the weird site we had arrived at.

Hamelin pool campsite is pretty remote located conveniently near the Stromatolites, ancient organisms in the sea, not quite like coral but more alive than rocks. So that was weird to begin with. The campsite was deserted apart from another Wicked van and so we were looking forward to meeting some other Wickedites. We didn’t see anyone in the van the whole time we were there. Whether they had been dragged into the Outback and brutally murdered by the toothless owner remains to be seen but it definitely had that feel about the place. The bathrooms also played music.

Strange goings on at the Stromatolites

Shell beach. Basically a beach made of shells.

Luckily we survived the night but whether Bunnies was going to get out of there was another question. It was also Friday 13th so things were not looking promising. But out she got (thats’ my girl!) and we managed to drive to the mecca of Monkey Mia campsite with little problem. Phew.

Monkey Mia is home to the “world famous” dolphins – but neither Russ nor I had heard about them before so they can’t be that world famous. Every morning on cue 5 or 6 dolphins come right up to the beach to be fed. This may seem a little Sea World-esque but it was pretty cool and Rich also managed to get picked twice to feed them fish. There were tears from the toddlers who he’d elbowed out the way.

Flipper and friends

But why can't I stroke it...?

Next day was Valentine’s Day and the prospect of spending it in the romantic paradise of Monkey Mia was a little stomach churning so we decided to drive back to the town of Denham. Not alot there but we thought we could hit the cask wine and try and a find a local pub for a few beers to drown our singleton sorrows. We may have overdone the wine and beers and before we knew it we were in the back of a van with 2 local guys and an old woman being driven to a “house party”. Needless to stay we were the only other guests at this house party about from this bull dog/rottweiler creature. Hmmm maybe not a great move but we went along with it and really the only thing we both remember was being woken up the following day by the campsite owner saying we were 2 hours past check out time. What really happened in Denham remains a mystery. All we know is that Russ lost another pair of flip flops somewhere and at one point Rich remembers being completely lost in some field near a roundabout. Denham – a Valentine’s night to remember.

Rich and his surprise Valentine in Denham

ROG

Perth was a very laid back city with some beautiful parkland and even its own equivalent of the London Eye. I hope the guys back in London know about these copycats. We stayed at a pretty chav backpackers resort, with one of the giantesque girls we have ever met staying there. We nicknamed her Hulk Bogan (bogan being another name for an Aussie chav) and feared for our lives whenever she came stomping through.

More hilarious signs...not

Unfortunately during our time in the city poor Rich was bitten on the hand by some unknown insect which made his hand swell like one of the chubby trees we discovered in the park. He was not happy with how much Russ took the mick out of him particularly the references to the Elephant man.

Spot the difference

We probably should have stayed longer in Perth but we had a Wicked campervan to pick up to travel the 3500km up to Broome. The day did not get off to a good start with all our debit/credit cards deciding to pack up when we had to pay for the damn thing (still sense the bitterness??) and then we say up on the white board that we had bene assigned the ‘Bunnies’ van. Now for all of you who are familiar with Wicked you will know that all their vans are graffiti-ed on the outside and so ours obviously had a ‘bunnies’ theme. Unfortunately it was not a lovely mural of a scene from Watership Down but was instead emblazoned with about 50 multicoloured Playboy bunnies. You can now imagine the look on our faces….

Everyone loves Bunnies

Camping it up

What a wicked behind

We now find ourselves a couple of  days into our camping experience and you’ll be please to know we have warmed to Bunnies but are still having to deal with weird looks from people in the street! We have also still been finding it difficult to deal without Paul so we have replaced him with a stuffed penguin (small, furry, does as he’s told- so not much difference really). The adventures of the new threesome will be documented in the next edition….

The new Pauly T

ROG